ON THE PERVASIVE AND UNHELPFUL PRESSURE TO “STAY POSITIVE”

May I just precede this post with the assurance that.. “It’s okay...I’m not one of those.”

I all too often hear of people reflecting on their past therapy sessions with others “feeling worse coming out than when I went in...” feeling a sense of failure after being encouraged to “think positive” or to practice some kind of zen based gratitude, which frankly, culturally is at odds with the overarching structure we’re messaged constantly to achieve at all costs.

While practicing gratitude - despite its recent capitalisation and the wellness / self- help industry that has co-opted such principals - and positive thought practises certainly have their place and necessity; perhaps say in anticipation of an important event or in response to unnecessary nervousness and while research does lean toward “think and I shall be” mind sets of mind coaching frameworks having progressive outcomes, they really are a cheap answer to usually very expansive problems.

In other words, you have our full permission to say “sorry, but that just doesn’t cut it,” if your therapist or a book you’re reading is suggesting you’re not doing it right and you need to think more positive.

Can they just back off with the smiley faces already?

With the work that we do at Full Circle Counselling, an avoidance of the very thing that is causation of so called “negative” responses (we prefer to call them informative precursors or sign posts) is far more damaging to your mental and psychoemotional health in the long term.

And the safe space of a therapeutic session is exactly the place you should be examining those murky waters, not avoiding them with the pressure to “think positive” with the educated guidance of one who has studied and specialised in getting you through to the other side after walking through, in a measured and guided manner, the parts of your very personal story that you may not feel comfortable disclosing to others who invariably have a vested interest in your public positivity.

It’s often - understandably - difficult for friends or family members to go to those difficult places with you. Even in the most intimate or relaxed settings. The people closest to you - your confidants and your tribal elders or kinfolk - simply want the best for you in the shortest time possible.

And most simply aren’t equipped with the knowledge to furnish you with a broader understanding of the internal microcosms of your psychology and how they impact how you’re feeling on a day to day basis.

But that’s what therapists are for. It’s our thing. That’s why you set aside an hour of your very busy life to sit with us and examine your internal rough spots and relationships.

And so relieve yourself of the omnipresent pressure to “think positive.”

Trust your feelings even if you don’t entirely understand them. And never fall for that dismissive line from a paid professional. All it’s really telling you is that they’re late for a meeting or a lunch date and they’re not doing what they’ve been hired to do. What is going on behind that computer they’re tapping on while you’re disclosing your innermost? Are they playing Tetris? Are they reading their own self help meme on the socials?

The relationship you have with your therapist - while at its base is transactional - should never be reduced to a Platoism or a “don’t worry, be happy” bumper sticker.

You’re paying your therapist to tune in, not tune out. And no matter how many similar stories we may hear in the course of a working week, it’s our job to unpack yours with as much care and concentration as it deserves. That’s our job.

Life is complicated. Your emotional roadmap and your psychosocial response system is complex. For you, as the driver (often with kids in the back seat and so many irritating “think positive” signposts en route your safe place). But it should never be for the therapist you employ to explain the internal machinery beneath the hood and external infrastructure surrounding.

Call us. We promise we won’t insist you “think positive,” not at least until you’ve gotten to that place of understanding that kinda takes care of all that itself.

o full circle counselling
​​o consulting rooms
​o office left I 47 heygarth st echuca vic 3564

​​o phone
o 0478 672 867

o website: www.full-circle-counselling.com
o email : [email protected]

o principal therapist : paul medew
o abn 76613403975

o confidential counselling for individuals, couples & families
​
o "when you need to see someone..."

READ MORE:
https://www.byrdie.com/positive-thinking-psychologists